LOTTO MAN
By
Josh Grossguth
Just then it hit me like a
thunderbolt striking the clock tower in Back to the future! Zapped by a million
jiggavoltz really rejuvenates you if you know what I mean! I fell to the ground screaming in agony,
Runnning in circles creating a dirt angle on the ground beneath me! The pain
was extravigent…We I came to I looked at my body at not a scractch to be found.
But What I did find was my necklace had melted its way into my chest and I started
to look like a hybrid half man half metal! It was just then I relized I was
turning into megaman! Suddenly I as able to power up and boost my charge and
create a power blast with my X-buster! I shot a hurricane out the mofo as well!
I took my super power seriously I didnt want
anybody to know, especially my parents they would kill me if they found
out. Whats funny is that what came in
the mail that day you would never guess,
Guess what Is was a dog , yes a dog, and you what what his name was, it was REX
Buster! So me and rexy went down the block and wen to the corner to pick up
some fruit from the old little Mexican ladies. I told the biotch to put more
chili on my fruit. No question they gal put way more chile and extra lemon I
could smell the citris, my nose started to ooze. MMmm Yummy nummny num num!
We
continued our journey down the block and out of nowhere Johnny Depp popped out
and threw zinger! He said “ Remember what I told ya kid, Its those who do it DO
IT!” I says yea whatever jonnie! I always Do it! Do it! Do it! DOOO IT! The
Nerve telling me to do something and that’s when it hit me I said I know this
guys got the winning lotto numbers so I demanded him to tell me. In a flash I powered
up my X-buster ready to blow Depp to pieces! He spoke so in the strangest
voice, almost like a tony soprano mixed with danny doveto kinda voice…He said:
1, 5, 15, 25, 34 and Mega 7…I remembered
those as if it was my very own birthday! I to REX and transformed him into my
hovercraft and we jetted the scene all the way to the nearest liquor store. I
hopped inside bought a bag of funions and left. Rex went back in and bought the
lotto ticket.
Rex and I went back home evading
Dr. wiley somehow, ever since he discovered thermonuclear hydropower IONS
Released more than 150 dozen new Danger bots into the wolrd everyday, we don’t know
how we are alive! I sat my ass down and quickly heard my cell pop off! “Hello,
Megaman services and post movie productions, how may I help you!” in a small
faint voice I heard a little laugh and chuckle. “ The Lotto ticket is mine
Mega, The lotto ticket is mine! Surrender the ticket now or forever face your doom!”
I hungup on the bitch and flipped my tv on channel 7 ABC.
What do you know just in time for
The price is right! I watched the price is right for about 45 mins then
channeld to channel 2! “ And tonights
lucky numbers are” “1, 5, 15, 25, 34, and Mega 7”
HOLY SHIT! I WON! I FUCKING WON! I
FUCKING WON THE LOTTO!